Musings On Life and Christmas

Hello everyone,

Christmas is a time of joy, peace, and hope. Well, at least for the kids, anyway. There's a lot of people in the world who are depressed at this time of the year, myself included. There's many reasons why people feel depressed; being alone, loss of a loved one, yearning for the great Christmases in the past that will not come again, regret (especially around New Year's), and some can't put their finger on it (aka, just the Holiday Blues). I think I fall under the Holiday Blues category which seems to come every year like clockwork.

Either way, there has been many solutions put out by popular psychologists and pseudo psychologists. One of which is to not keep yourself reclusive, especially the feeling of loneliness category. Another way to fight the depression is to start new traditions such as giving a Christmas party where friends come over. These seem like reasonable solutions, however, there are some caveats.

One of depression's insidious nature is that people don't feel pleasure, or anhedonia (which means no feelings of happiness or hope). Depression is a snowball going downhill, the worse it is, the more negative effects you feel. For example, one is feeling physical pain, and this can be psychosomatic (all in your head) or it is real. Some people start getting grouchy after every little thing that happens.

So if you are feeling the depressive symptoms, such as the ones listed, how could you possibly be in the mood to throw a party or not feel the need to stay away from people in general? When forced into a social setting, depressives either try to act happy or tend to hide in a corner by themselves. Both scenarios are energy drainers. Which brings me to another symtom: the need to sleep. Some people tend to think that sleeping a lot is plain laziness, however, in reality, sleep is an escape from reality or the negative feelings they are experiencing. Even a nightmare can seem like relief for the sufferer.

Life is not an ideal situation, according to the Bible: everything gets old, brittle, breaks, and dies. If you think about it, you buy a brand new car and think you'll be happy, right? No. Cars break down and need repair. New house? They decay and require maintenance. All living things eventually die. The lesson from the Bible is that you don't count on earthly things but things of God. Picturing what Heaven is like; eternal peace, hope, joy, beauty, and healing can have a positive effect on a person. We can strive to be God-like (fyi, we'll never be, we just keep trying so don't expect yourself to be perfect) and have faith in the triune God. When we leave this earth, we can attain what is good in Heaven.

I leave you with this; if you are experiencing "the blues", anhedonia, or depression, get professional help. Especially when you start saying to yourself that you want to die. You don't need to announce it to the world, therapists keeps your secrets. You won't be "cured" on your first visit, but it is a stepping stone going up instead of further into a pit.

Psalm 34:18, 19 – The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (19) A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.

God bless you all and know that there are others who are feeling what you are.

Home, Work, School, and a Movie!

Hello everyone. It's been awhile since my last post. I've had multiple issues going on at home, work, and school so I've been juggling. We adopted a sibling set of two girls two weeks ago, unfortunately, their issues continue and has gotten worse since the adoption. Our teenager has definitely shown us resentment at the same time. What can I say? We can't win!

As for work, I've been looking at another position within the organization and it would definitely get good use of my skillset. The administrator is supporting me in this endeavor which I am truly grateful. She also wants me back if the position doesn't work out. I would be a Jail Diversion Specialist which means I would try to get people who are currently in jail suffering from mental illness to treatment and temporary housing until they get something permanent. There is no mental health treatment in the King County Jail system. Pierce County, however, has their own mental health treatment facility at the jail which is very impressive.

As for school, I finished Graduate Statistics with a B-. That's the bad news. The good news is I found out yesterday that a C or above is considered passing so I won't need to repeat that class. I'm currently in week five of Executive Coaching with straight A's. Apparently my writing ability far exceeds my mathematical ability in statistics. After Executive Coaching, it will be four weeks of the Capstone class which leads to graduation.

I have to talk about a movie my wife and I have seen last weekend...twice. I don't normally do movie reviews but this is related to foster parenting. There is a Mark Wahlberg movie called "Instant Family" and I went into this movie not wanting to be entertained but to see what Hollywood would do to show what the Foster-to-Adopt program is really about. I was amazed (even entertained) at how accurate it portrayed Foster parents and the struggles we go through. Every single thing in that movie happened to us (except the Christmas dinner incident but the general chaos is appropriate). Hollywood did some great funny scenes but was pertinent to Foster parenting. The only thing that my wife and I had a quibble with was the happy ending (spoiler alert). Even after adoption, it's not always a happy ending. In fact, the struggle can continue or intensify as we continue to experience.

If you are considering Fostering, watch the movie first before you commit. The chaos, outbursts, disrespect, and damage is a reality. Would I recommend anyone to be a Foster-to-Adopt family? Let's just say I would be the last person to talk to about that if you want encouragement.